??xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8" standalone="yes"?> I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest
universities in the world. Truth be told, I never graduated from college, this
is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell
you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories. The first story is about connecting the dots. I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed
around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did
I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college
graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very
strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all
set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I
popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my
parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night
asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of
course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated
from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She
refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later
when my parents promised that I would someday go to college. And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that
was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’
savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see
the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how
college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the
money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust
that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back
it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could
stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in
on the ones that looked interesting. It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in
friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with,
and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal
a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into
by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let
me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in
the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer,
was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to
take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to
do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount
of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great
typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way
that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating. None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten
years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came
back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with
beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in
college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally
spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal
computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped
in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the
wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the
dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking
backwards ten years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them
looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in
your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma,
whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the
difference in my life. My second story is about love and loss. I was lucky, I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started
Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple
had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with
over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh -
a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get
fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I
thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or
so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and
eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with
him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my
entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the
previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it
was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to
apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even
thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn
on me Ð I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed
that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to
start over. I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the
best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being
successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure
about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my
life. During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company
named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife.
Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy
Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a
remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the
technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance.
And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together. I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from
Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it.
Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m
convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did.
You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for
your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only
way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only
way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep
looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you
find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the
years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle. My third story is about death. When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day
as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an
impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the
mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life,
would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has
been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever
encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything Ð
all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure -
these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly
important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid
the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is
no reason not to follow your heart. About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the
morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a
pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer
that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six
months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is
doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything
you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It
means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as
possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes. I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where
they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my
intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I
was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells
under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very
rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery
and I’m fine now. This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I
get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you
with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual
concept: No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die
to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever
escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single
best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make
way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now,
you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic,
but it is quite true. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be
trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.
Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most
important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow
already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth
Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a
fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to
life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal
computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors,
and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years
before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and
great notions. Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and
then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the
mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a
photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself
hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay
Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay
Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you
graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. Thank you all very much.
“初中时学习高中和大学的数?#8221; Q丫的还在农村呢Q哪里来的书? “微积分的思想?#8221;
“按兴发展?#8221; 和我初中时学物理一样嘛Q可惜俺当年找不C看,不然Z是牛ZQ哈哈?br>
1是兴,2是能前学习?br>
“15岁上大学” 。真是终生教育啊
“两最牛逼的同学自杀” l得Ll?br>
“不知道下一步学什?#8221; 有h能在宏观上指导是多么重要?
教育学生“只要告诉他一个方?#8221;
“有鲜明个性的学生” “批评老师” “交大的计机士” “成ؓ世界著名的数学家” “两三q之?#8221;
“奥数” “竞赛 ” -“Ȁ励兴?自己C 自己ȝ 自己思?#8221; “没有培训?#8221; “惛_几个?#8221; “做研I?惛_几年”
“q入大学是人生目标” “为父母读书,不是q兴趣M”
“国孩子每天是想着怎么ȝ” “不重视数学技?#8221;
“学一二年U开始,做一些研I性的东西” “展板” “演讲” “讲的能力”
“国高中生压力非常大” “考试不比国内?#8221;
“Q电(sh)子游戏)的时候没接触q,一上大学家里不了”
“机械训练” “没有成就?” “不是智力的表?#8221;
“国内学生基础?#8221; “微积分很?#8221;
“~Z自信” “请他们吃?#8221; “吃了很多ơ饭” “表达能力Ơ缺”
“数学学习的方?#8221;
“前学习” “预习” “学高q的知?#8221; “走在老师前面” 站得高看得远啊?br>
“做题太多” “不要为技巧而技?#8221;
“兴趣之所以能产生” “自己的想法能解决问题Q?成就感, 觉得自己有与众不同的地方”
“拓宽知识?#8221; “看得q一?#8221;
“奥数” “很大的利益链”
“物理学家学数学的Ҏ(gu)” “在研I中学习” 又是前学习
“多看点传讎ͼ大学的时?#8221;
“国大学的培L式:扔到水里游泳”
google, U性代?矩阵
“数学训练非常重要”
Ҏ(gu)Q?“天才Q脑袋里攑և个问题,学到一个新的方法后把这些问题试一遍,说不定哪天就打开了,别hp得你是个天才”
“数学品味” 知道什么是好,什么是?br>
“研究 research” “反复查找”
]]>
]]>
In human freedom in the philosophical sense I am
definitely a disbeliever. Everybody acts not only under external
compulsion but also in accordance with inner necessity. Schopenhauer's
saying, that "a man can do as he will, but not will as he will," has
been an inspiration to me since my youth up, and a continual
consolation and unfailing well-spring of patience in the face of the
hardships of life, my own and others'. This feeling mercifully
mitigates the sense of responsibility which so easily becomes
paralyzing, and it prevents us from taking ourselves and other people
too seriously; it conduces to a view of life in which humour, above
all, has its due place.
To inquire after the meaning or object of one's own
existence or of creation generally has always seemed to me absurd from
an objective point of view. And yet everybody has certain ideals which
determine the direction of his endeavours and his judgments. In this
sense I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves
?such an ethical basis I call more proper for a herd of swine. The
ideals which have lighted me on my way and time after time given me new
courage to face life cheerfully, have been Truth, Goodness, and Beauty.
Without the sense of fellowship with men of like mind, of preoccupation
with the objective, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and
scientific research, life would have seemed to me empty. The ordinary
objects of human endeavour ?property, outward success, luxury ?have
always seemed to me contemptible.
My passionate sense of social justice and social
responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced freedom
from the need for direct contact with other human beings and human
communities. I gang my own gait and have never belonged to my country,
my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart;
in the face of all these ties I have never lost an obstinate sense of
detachment, of the need for solitude ?a feeling which increases with
the tears. One is sharply conscious, yet without regret, of the limits
to the possibility of mutual understanding and sympathy with one's
fellow-creatures. Such a person no doubt loses something in the way of
geniality and light-heartedness; on the other hand, he is largely
independent of the opinions, habits, and judgments of his fellows and
avoids the temptation to take his stand on such insecure foundations.
My political ideal is that of democracy. Let every man be
respected as an individual and no man idolized. It is an irony of fate
that I myself have been the recipient of excessive admiration and
respect from my fellows through no fault, and no merit, of my own. The
cause of this may well be the desire, unattainable for many, to
understand the one or two ideas to which I have with my feeble powers
attained through ceaseless struggle. I am quite aware that it is
necessary for the success of any complex undertaking that one man
should do the thinking and directing and in general bear the
responsibility. But the led must not be compelled, they must be able to
choose their leader. An autocratic system of coercion, in my opinion,
soon degenerates. For force always attracts men of low morality, and I
believe it to be an invariable rule that tyrants of genius are
succeeded by scoundrels. For this reason I have always been
passionately opposed to systems such as we see in Italy and Russia
to-day. The thing that has brought discredit upon the prevailing form
of democracy in Europe to-day is not to be laid to the door of the
democratic idea as such, but to lack of stability on the part of the
heads of governments and to the impersonal character of the electoral
system. I believe that in this respect the United States of America
have found the right way. They have a responsible President who is
elected for a sufficiently long period and has sufficient powers to be
really responsible. On the other hand, what I value in our political
system is the more extensive provision that it makes for the individual
in case of illness or need. The really valuable thing in a pageant of
human life seems to me not the State but the creative, sentient
individual, the personality; it alone creates the noble and the
sublime, while the herd as such remains dull in thought and dull in
feeling.
This topic brings me to that worst outcrop of the herd
nature, the military system, which I abhor. That a man can take
pleasure in marching in formation to the strains of a band is enough to
make me despise him. He has only been given his big brain by mistake; a
backbone was all he needed. This plague-spot of civilization ought to
be abolished with all possible speed. Heroism by order, senseless
violence, and all the pestilent nonsense that goes by the name of
patriotism ?how I hate them! War seems to me a mean, contemptible
thing: I would rather be hacked in pieces than take part in such an
abominable business. And yet so high, in spite of everything, is my
opinion of the human race that I believe this bogey would have
disappeared long ago, had the sound sense of the nations not been
systematically corrupted by commercial and political interests acting
through the schools and the Press.
The fairest thing we can experience is the mysterious. It
is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and
true science. He who knows it not and can no longer wonder, no longer
feel amazement, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle. It was the
experience of mystery ?even if mixed with fear ?that engendered
religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot
penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most
radiant beauty, which are only accessible to our reason in their most
elementary forms ?it is this knowledge and this emotion that
constitute the truly religious attitude; in this sense, and in this
alone, I am a deeply religious man. I cannot conceive of a God who
rewards and punishes his creatures, or has a will of the type of which
we are conscious in ourselves. An individual who should survive his
physical death is also beyond my comprehension, nor do I wish it
otherwise; such notions are for the fears or absurd egoism of feeble
souls. Enough for me the mystery of the eternity of life, and the
inkling of the marvelous structure of reality, together with the
single-hearted endeavour to comprehend a portion, be it never so tiny,
of the reason that manifests itself in nature.
]]>
http://blog.csdn.net/fudan_abc/
http://www.cnblogs.com/guaiguai/
http://www.oursci.org/ency/phil/020.htm
]]>
Northern Bound
The Crossing
The Highest Gander_Robert Wyatt
Beating Drums
The Return Of The Cranes
The Blue Thread
The Red Forest_Robert Wyatt
Like A Breath Of Air_A Filetta
The Takeoff
Amidst The Factory Smoke
The Glider
After The Hunt
The Paper Parrot
The Swans Flight
Feathers
The Wounded Dove_Gabriel Yacoub
Off Camera
]]>
When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer.
]]>
作?陈丹?/p>
大家好:
q是我第三次谈论鲁迅先生了。每ơ都是又恭敬Q又有点紧张。昨天特地剃了头Q换双新皮鞋。我不会当场讲演Q讲到鲁q的话题Q尤光重,总要事先写点E子才能自以得清楚一些。下面我按着E子念,再作些发挥,误位原谅?/p>
Q一Q?/p>
鲁迅先生的纪念会Q七十年来不知开q多次了。在中国Q鲁q至今是个大话题?/p>
_略说来Q从鲁迅逝世?936q到1949q_鲁迅话题为民族革命问题所~绕Q从1949q到八十q代初,鲁迅话题则成为准官方意识形态,在大陆无人敢于冒犯,在台湾被长期杀。MQ“鲁q话题”是癑ֈ之百的“政治话题”?/p>
八十q代中期Q鲁q话题逐渐被移出政ȝ坛,挪进学术领域Q九(ji)十年代迄今,官方寚wq话题开始了沉默、回ѝ冷淡的戏剧性过E。二十多q来QD凡重要的国家话题和政府语aQ不再能够,也不再打从鲁迅那里盘剥搜寻M说法Q鲁q话题的庞大利用价g乎走到尽_由“在朝”{向“在野”,随即在学界与民间展开“鲁q争议”,王朔Q是q场争议的发难者?/p>
CCU,“鲁q争议”衍生了“还原鲁q”的愿望。就我所知,不论是鲁q的“捍卫派”还是“质疑者”,q十余年出版的鲁q专著大q度抛弃官方意识形态尺度,试图描述真实的鲁q。旧史料出现新的解读Q一些新的史料披露了。其中,最可注意的声音来自鲁迅后代Q先?002q周婴回忆录《我与鲁q七十年》,后有2006qv婴先生大公子周o飞同志在交通大学的一演,q位鲁迅的长孙直截了当问道:“鲁q是谁??/p>
q可能是q今为止关于鲁迅最为激烈而讽刺的发问。这一问,宣告七十q来我们被告知的那位鲁迅先生Q面目全非?/p>
Q二Q?/p>
我们可能都会同意Q几十年来,中国历史q远q近的大人物几乎都被弄得面目全非。而鲁q的被扭Ԍ是现代中国一桩超U公案。从五十q“政治话题”到q二十年的“鲁q争议”,中国毕竟有所q步了,今天Q鲁q的读者有可能E微接近鲁迅生前的语境?/p>
但这q不意味着鲁迅的“还原”?/p>
鲁迅先生的寿命是五十多年Q他d被政d也有五十多年Q鲁q著作是一份遗产,被极端政d的鲁q是另一份遗产。鲁q的q灵、鲁q的读者,七十q来始终在两个鲁q、两份遗产之间游荡?/p>
q是鲁迅公案的一面。另一面,我们看看西方。譬如但丁、蒙田、莎士比亚、歌得黑格尔、托斯泰、尼采、马克思……都是巨大的历史公案、文化公案,他们在n后被不断解读、塑造、发掘、g伸。他们属于不同的国族和时代,但不属于政权Q他们对文化与政d生深q媄响,但从未被现实政治吞没Q他们的d阶段性过时了Q因为后人接l了他们的文脉;他们历久常新Q因Z们早l熔ؓ文化之链与历史坐标?/p>
鲁迅w后的命q正相反Q他是中国现代文学的头牌Q但始终抉|在政权手里;他对现实政治其实毫无影响Q却沦ؓ政权的超U打手;他被(zhn)置Q但难以q时Q因Zw后既不曑և现、也不可能出现等量齐观的人物Q因此他历久长在Q不完全׃他著作的影响Q而是最高规格的孤立状态;他的全集一版再版,但与当今文化难以建立zȝ关系——相比被杀、被遗忘Q鲁qn后的命运与处境更其诡Ԍ更其(zhn)哀?/p>
七十q来Q鲁q墓前曾有无数革命者或权势者的鲜花Q近二十q_煞有介事也ŞQ发乎内心也好,官方与民间不再主动拜。鲁q清静了Q不再被利用Q也不再被供奉。这U暧昧的h和前五十q炙手可热的“鲁q政沠Z一P都是反常与变态,是历史的ȝ。目前这份已告冷却的鲁迅遗Q仍然是官方撤除之后的官斚w产?/p>
?ji)十多年前,鲁迅的大愿是“救救孩子!”今天,孩子们的命题可能是:“救救鲁q”!
Q三Q?/p>
鲁迅w后的所有话题,是鲁q先生的问题q是我们的问题?如果是鲁q的问题Q他的遗作俱在,要争议就争议Q不愿读׃去读Q无所谓还原不q原Q如果这是我们的问题Q那么,我们Z么要q原鲁迅Q怎样q原Q有没有可能q原Q?/p>
我想来想去,{案是:一Q问题出在我们;二,鲁迅很难q原。三Q要q原鲁迅和无数历史h物,有待于“我们”发生根本的变化Q四Q不论是良性的、恶性的、还是中性的Q不Z鲁迅有关p还是没关系Q这U变化的q程会很镎쀔—可能需要另一个七十年——但gq变化已初露端倪?/p>
所以重要的不是鲁迅Q不是还原,而是“我们”的变化?/p>
以下试着D谈论鲁迅Z么难以还原,Z么这“难以还原”是我们的问题。最q,香港凤凰台就鲁迅逝世七十周年来访Q给我一l关于鲁q的质疑。有的早听q,有的L未闻。记忆所及,仅D如下数端Q?/p>
1Q鲁q的思想可以商榷吗?2Q鲁q的_是否被承?是否值得l承Q?Q鲁q喜Ƣ骂人,是否DZ在文革中互相d斗争的恶习?4Q怎么看待鲁迅认同“无产阶U专攎쀝?5Q鲁q的名句Q“我向来不憚以最坏的恶意揣测中国人”,是否助长了中国h的恶Q?/p>
在半时访答中,我无能展开谈论Q现在顺着问题想下去,我清清楚楚看见,问题在我们,在那份鲁q政ȝ遗?/p>
其一Q鲁q可以商榷吗Q这是典型的奴才思\Q是极权文化才会提出的问题——所有h物与思想都可以“商榷”,理应“商榷”,但我不用“商榷”这个词Q那是中国式伪争论的代用词,吞吞吐吐Q躲w闪闪。当“商榷”二字得以流行的q代Q正是抹杀批评Q禁止怀疑的q代Q我们是思想被封锁被掐灭的几代h证?/p>
其二Q鲁q的_是否被承?是否值得l承Q我的回{是Q假如鲁q精指的是怀疑、批评和抗争Q那么,q种_不但丝毫没有被承,而且被空前成功地铲除了。我不主张承这U精,因ؓ谁也l承不了、承不P除非你有两条以上性命Q或者,除非你是鲁迅同时代的人。最E_的办法是取鲁q精的反面Q沉默、归、奴化,以至奴化得珠圆玉润?/p>
其三Q鲁q喜Ƣ骂人,是否D文革期间Z互相攻讦斗争的恶习?阿I陀?jng)!q样的问题需要回{么Q有的倒是看看别的国家、别的时代,文学家思想家怎样骂h——我不认是骂人,反而指为骂,真是一U骂。但既是谁都用这个词Q姑且从众吧——太q的例子不去_仅看比鲁q略早、略晚,或大致同期的人物Q有人问娄拜最q在q什么,他说Q我在l诅咒我的同?yu),向他们头上倒粪便;托尔斯泰一辈子骂hQ谁都骂Q骂皇帝和教主,骂莎士比亚和采Q骂前辈赫尔岑,骂老朋友屠格涅夫,当然Q也骂他自己Q尼采的咒骂则指向整个基督教世界Q他_天下只有一位基督徒Q那是耶稣Q而“耶稣教”是两千q来Ƨ洲最大的政治……在中国Q应该ؓ温柔敦厚的良Z~一册世界文豪骂人史Q虽然全世界没有一个国家发生过文革Q那样h整h?/p>
q种人整人的恶习、模式、话语方式,在三十年代的左翼内部已经发难Q成Z四百家争鸣的异化。八十年代出版了鲁迅论敌骂鲁q的大部头史料,?ji)十q代有一部书叫做《鲁q:最被污蔑的人》,历历举证鲁迅被谩骂被围攻的史实。这里仅举一例,卛_C国文艺牌坊中仅次于鲁q的郭沫若同志,x公然宣判鲁迅为“双重的徏余孽”。当郭同志出口定|前Q他自称几乎不读鲁迅的书?/p>
其四Q怎样看待鲁迅认同“无产阶U专攎쀝?是的Q我们这代h都是“无产阶U专攎쀝的子民。但不要弄错Q从六七十年代的《红旗》杂志或《h民日报》通栏标题d“无产阶U专攎쀝这句话Q和二三十年代在U密书刊以及文h写作中读到同一句话Q是两种LQ两U后果,两回事。是的,鲁迅曾是左翼阵营的大——在他的时代Q世界范围激q知识分子和艺术家十之七八选择左翼立场Q譬如法国h文h阿拉贡、西班牙d毕加索、意大利导演帕烦里尼、彼德鲁齐等{,不仅左倾,而且是准׃党员——当“双重封Z孽”鲁q先生晚期靠拢左|模写“无产阶U专攎쀝这句话Q不是出于政M从ͼ而是再三目击“无产阶U”青q肝脑涂圎ͼ被枪毙。但及早道破左翼内部的虚伪、狡诈、霸道、浅薄,同样也是鲁迅。ؓ什么呢Q?/p>
因ؓ其五Q鲁q“向来不憚以最坏的恶意揣测中国人”——这句话居然“助长了中国人的恶”,且不说此话通不通,q是什么逻辑Q莫非此后至今遍中国滔滔不绝的恶Z在作恶之前,都曾hq鲁q的著作么——恶意,分两U,一U是自知其恶Q一U竟Z所谓“善意”,若是今天q有中国Zq样的“善意”去责难鲁迅Q这善意Q在我看来就是十的恶意?/p>
不过以上的问Q以上的{,都愚蠢,那是一W现代中国是非观的糊涂帐Q是不g谈的常识问题。可资详实对照的是鲁q时代与我们时代的差异,q差异,才是q原鲁迅真正的难处?br />
Q四Q?/p>
以下_略排列一l时代背景、社会指标与文化形态,借以提醒我们Z么难以还原鲁q?/p>
鲁迅青少q时期,中国有大清政府,有康梁ؕ党,有孙中山革命集团Q有无数民间集社Q有列国的殖民地。鲁q壮q时期,北方是军阀政府Q南Ҏ(gu)国民政府Q江西是苏维埃政府;而军阀在各省据有势力,国民政府曑ֈ为宁汉政府,许多省䆾q设有苏l埃C政府。到了鲁q的中期与晚期,中国_粗l一Q但仍有南京政府与g安政府,抗战时期q有南京伪政府与重庆国民政府Q而在鲁迅居住的上P有日U界与法U界?/p>
鲁迅在北京厦门广州上h期,学界有前清遗老,有各省宿儒,有留日派Q留英派Q留派Q留h{等Q这些v龟派与今日的龟z不可同日而语Q各有真正的学派、主张和势力。政Lz,则先后出现过君主立宪z,共和z,保皇z,三民MQ共产主义,资本MQ自׃义,法西斯主义,民族MQ还有无政府M——在座年Mh可能不知道,“巴金”的W名Q就是取两位Ƨ洲无政府主义者的中文译名Q巴库宁和克鲁牚wQ他比鲁q谈论“无产阶U专攎쀝还?gu)Ȁq,居然公开着无政府主义者的名,zM一癑֤岁——最q中央电(sh)视台新闻频道一挡节目还公布了史料:虽然昙花一玎ͼ形同儿戏Q但上世U二十年代前后,中国的政党出现过上百个?/p>
鲁迅的同学、战友、论敌,有的是国民党要hQ如蔡元培和陈AQ有的是׃党要人,如陈独秀与瞿U白Q有的既是国民党员又是共产党员,如郭沫若与田汉,有的既是学者教授又是党国重臣,如胡适之Q当Ӟ自也有许多无党无z文h。教U书L凸显鲁迅q轻朋友中的左翼人士与共产党人,察看鲁迅通信的朋友,却有国民党军人如他格外hq李秉中;有鲁qؓ之谋职,解放后被镇压的国民政府县官如荆有驎;也有先左后右的青q_如选择台湾的台静农。鲁q与好几位左小青年从亲昵到l交Q但与国民党军政界或右翼朋友反倒未有闹ȝ记蝲。鲁q的外国友hQ则有俄国没落诗人爱|先珂,有美国左小子史沫莱特与斯诺Q而内山完造与增田涉等{日本友人,非左非右Qƈ没有政治色彩?/p>
说到鲁迅与他同代人的交友范围Q今天即便h脉最q,w䆾最Ҏ(gu)的角Ԍ也不可能与社会n份杂异、政ȝ场截然对立的人群l持朋友关系或彼此ؓ敌的关系。从五十q代C十年代,朋友{同朋党Q胡风集团、二堂圈子Q均曾获|,x自杀多hQ株q千百。政治集团的cM案例更是不可胜数。八十年代迄今,则朋友关pd致是权利关系Q或以升官,或以发胦。相对纯_的Uh友谊勉强恢复常态,然而众人的n、职业、观Ҏ(gu)有差异,但我们全是国家的人,教育背景和整体h|都是一L?/p>
MQ鲁q与他同代h的政M文化版图Q鲁q与他敌友置w其间的a行空_以我们这几代人同Z一个模子的生存l验Q绝对不可能惌Q不可能亲历Q不可能分n鲁迅那代人具体而微的日常经验——当Ӟ我们几代人共享齐天洪,免于三大山的压q,免于׃之苦。其代h(hun)Q是我们对相对纷杂的C会形态,相对异样的生存选择Q相对自ȝ成长l历Q迹q生理上的无知?/p>
至于鲁迅的言Z思想Q再早、再晚,都出不来。他的时代,是中国现代史国家ؕ与历史机会最为密集的世代Q也是春U以来唯一一ơ短暂的“百家争鸣”时代。倘若他被认ؓ高于其他人,因ؓ有其他hQ倘若其他Z认同他,便说明那是群雄ƈLq代。他w后被高(zhn)、孤立,使我们只能Ԓ望他一个。近二十q_那个时代与他对立的学说大U出齐了Q然而最初的阅读形同烙印Q我们读鲁迅在先Q读其他人在后,听他骂h在先Q得知骂他的文章在后。这U先后差异,不可低估?/p>
但这些都不重要,真的要害Q是我们几代人早已被塑造ؓ另一物U。我们的思维模式、话语习惯、h(hun)值判断及无数生存l节Q几乎无法与鲁迅及他的同代h衔接对应。我们的困难不是不认识鲁q,而是不认识我们自己。要q原鲁迅Q恐怕先得借助鲁迅的生存经验,做一番自我还原?/p>
譬如Q鲁q在中国数度q移Q但不必到派出所甛_户口或暂住证Q他与好几所大学有受聘解聘的关系Q但从来没有一份h事案尾随其后;他有w居高官的老朋友,但从未受制于M单位领导Q他被特务监视,但弄堂隔壁没有居民委员会Q他的文章常被封杀止Q但从未写过一U思想汇报与书面检讨;他被多位友朋明攻暗伤Q但qZ卑怯的举揭发;他被不同阵营污蔑围攻Q但从未被国民政府“打倒”ƈ发动全国性批判;他活在战R仍的时代Q但从未领教qD国民众的武斗Q他擅逃亡Q但不是Z逃避隔离审查、监督劳动或遣送下乡;他活d旧文人孔已己的凄惨末路,但对学者教授为囚犯或׃h的经历毫无感知;他ؓ我们留下永恒的阿QQ但l不会料到到阿Q同志后来可能当上役乡民的村长,甚至厉KQ他U通ؕ党,名列通缉Q但从未被戴上一右z或现行反革命帽子,所以,他不知道什么叫做被q_的狂喜与委屈。许多h讥嘲他是位“绍兴师爷”,可他从未l手一件我们时代哪怕最卑微的“冤假错案”;兄弟失和诚然是他最N怀的内伤,此外Q要论无可申说的个h委屈和无妄之灾,他n后的大小文h都比他阅历深厚;晚期Q鲁q主动阅读马克思学_但从未被命o以唯物主义检讨、修攏V以臛_开否定自己的著作;不消_他从未申请入党,从未听说全国文联与作家协会,从未被阻止或恩准阅读“内部文件”,从未׃行政U别分到或分不到一间住房,从未接受q哪位h事处U员的威胁或奉承Q他的葬CgZ抬棺的巴金同志的葬礼完全不同Q不是国家操办;他被覆盖《民族魂》大旗的D荣不是Ҏ(gu)国务院或XX部的指oQ当国母宋庆龄与国师蔡元培以Uhw䆾出席他葬C时Q伙同沈君儒章乃器等W三势力Q而葬C的U密{划与公开{动Q是当时的青qؕ党如冯雪C大批左翼青年。这些h的政治n份与C会C完全不同Q却堂而皇之站在鲁q的灉|旁轮番演_hȀ昂,公然咒骂政府的无能与不抵抗?/p>
对不Pq有Q鲁q生前从未见q粮和布票?br />
Q五Q?/p>
所以周令飞动问“鲁q是谁”,鲁迅怕也弄不清“o飞是谁?”——o飞与我同岁同届,我一见他Q除了头十秒钟惊喜,旋即发现他是我的哪位中学同学。我在他怸搜寻鲁迅Q结果读到所有老知青的心理与生理密码:十六岁我下乡落户Q在赣南零上四十度的h中割水稻Q他十六岁当兵,在东北零下四十度的严寒中站岗Q八十年代我MU约Q他M东京Q在台湾Q我有一位爷P他有一位太太,当初他俩在东京向中国大馆与台湾办事处申报婚姻,两边的官员均不敢作主成全q对政治鸳鸯……反正o飞同志的成长与他父没有M怼之点Q却和我出奇地相伹{?/p>
我也见到令飞的爸爸。多么熟(zhn)的老上h。在他的回忆录中Q许q^先生晚年l历了所有国安q的(zhn)喜剧,那是׃h事处、房所、中央领对{以及历届运动编写的曲折剧情。假如鲁q先生半夜敲门回Ӟ婴母子必须p无数口舌才能佉Kq听明白——只有一部分故事早已为鲁q所熟?zhn)Q那是左翼分子的上U上Uѝ弄权整人。但他绝Ҏ(gu)不到当年左翼圈子的暴戾Q日后竟扩大为神州大地数十年斗争生活Q其中,单是“气宇轩昂”的左联“元帅”周杨同志当了文化部长,六十q代又遭报应的个案,׃使他大开眼界?/p>
q就是鲁q决定拯救的孩子们。调动他q生所有经验,他也弄不清这些孩子玩得是什么把戏?/p>
七十q历Ԍ是我们与鲁迅成ؓ彼此的异cȝ历史。今天不论怎样谈论鲁迅、阅读鲁q,我们的感知系l或研究手段Q其实都很难真的奏效。在我们的上下周_鲁迅那样的物U灭l了——岂止是他,伟大的早期国民党人,伟大的早期共产党人,伟大的革命者与启蒙者一代,在今天的人群与h格类型中Q消失净——而在鲁迅的时代,q些ZZؓ敌ؓ友、ؓ官ؓ匪,但他们的伦理道d血脉教养,个个跨越唐宋Q上溯先U,同时Q他们是中国W一代世界主义者,W一代现代民族主义者,W一代新型的文化_英和政ȝ英?/p>
或曰Q难道时代没有进步吗Q大大进步了。“革命前辈的鲜血岂能白流Q”我怿怽不会误解我在夸大q去Q贬低今天。事物与人物需要比较,臛_Q一个物质的C化中国佉Kq目瞪口呆——鲁q早q在北^I着单裤q冬Q无~n受空调;鲁迅坐R有感于道路颠,无缘驰骋高速公路;他主张抛弃毛W,可未曾梦见电(sh)脑;他晚岁收藏不《世界裸体美术全集》,可惜看不C日的短裙……一个h(hun)Dq中国也佉Kq与他的敌友哑口无言。不q他早经预先l望q了Q好像知道将要认不出未来的中国,他说q,未来是坟Q坟的未来,无非是被t^?/p>
西方人物的n后命q怎样呢?譬如Q启蒙运动确实塑造了今日西方Q尼采果然标举了新型知识_英的立场,马克思大大颠覆了资本M。然后,启蒙先贤、尼采学说、马克思主义不断被后代展开、追问,q持l超。当李维·斯特x怀疑晚辈福柯或德里辄学说Ӟ他知道审慎而准地用词Q巴特尔出道之书《写作的零度》旨在与长辈萨特辩难Q而他最后著作《明室》的扉页Q题写“向萨特的想象致敬”……十倍百倍于鲁迅耗尽心智的文化论战,在西方从未停止,那种Ȁ烈、深度、不苟同Q尤其是丰富的徏树,q远过鲁迅与他的敌友。在西方Q文Z未被打倒,而是被质疑;从未被神化,而是被纪念;从未被架I,而是实实在在地被试图理解、被持箋研究。我所亲见的西方h谈v先贤与哲人,q不大惊怪,只是q静而诚恳的敬?/p>
我们只有一位鲁q。当我们q代U容阅读鲁迅及不准阅读胡适,乃出于同一的原由和性质。而鲁q死后,他的价D求便被成功地H息Q或者割裂、或者歪Ԍ休想l箋传递、提升、展开。他的大半命题在今日中国q未q时Q却被迫停在q去时。同Ӟ那䆾政治化的鲁迅遗以不可抗拒的方式灌输至今Q看不出停止的迹象——在中国Q鲁q和马克思各有分工:鲁迅专门负责诅咒万恶的旧中国Q马克思专门负责证明社会主义的必然性。而今“与时俱q”的国情又将鲁迅和马克思的脸涂得又U又白,他们仍然被孤雉吊在中国C史上I,既当圣hQ又做恶人:不是吗?今日千千万万中学生大学生寚w克思或鲁迅敬而远之,又不得不与之周旋Q他们年q必背诵马克思教条(俗称“马概”)以便通过政治考试Q又q年被迫阅读鲁迅q书写读后感。什么是马克思主义?鲁迅有哪些h(hun)|孩子们根本不在乎。在今日知识q中,马克思与鲁迅被重视的E度是半世纪以来最低点Q除了屈p厌烦,q轻人对他们没有敬Q没有爱?/p>
q也是ؓ什么维护或质疑鲁迅的种UQ叨,均难发生真的影响和说服力。我们既难消除鲁q,也难以挽救他Q他在我们够不着的某处,他甚至不属于自己的血Ԍ当周令飞问道“鲁q是谁?”我猜想Q他愿意的n份ƈ非仅仅因Z是鲁q的孙儿。他与父亲在安提v父Q恐怕不常称之ؓ“爸爸”、“爷爷”,而是直呼“鲁q”,正象七十q前周作人指着自己妈妈_“这是鲁q的母亲。?/p>
说来不仅是o飞的父Q五四前后的重要人物都被架空了、作废了Q梁启超、孙中山、蔡元培、胡适、陈独秀、梁漱溟、马寅初……这份名单顶多进入学术研IӞ不再发生温热Q投光芒。他们的命运模式是这LQ先是失败的历史英雄Q接着Q空留英雄之名而遭遇历史性失败?/p>
“鲁q话题”不能只谈鲁q。只谈鲁q,会加深他的孤立Qɘq孤立更_致Q更难以把握Q“鲁q研I”本该是文化研究Q然而我们时代货真h(hun)实的文化在哪里,拿什么去研究鲁迅——当h对哥德微妙地不敬、庞h动艾略特的诗章、巴特评析纪L文体、纪德发掘妥斯托也夫斯基的深度、博赫斯偏爱叔本华的哲学、昆h分析贝多芬的乐谱Q他们不必顾虑种族与时空的阻隔,因ؓ他们当然地属于同一的、有效的Ƨ洲人文大统Q不曾迷׃历史谎言Q更不会在历史断层的深隙中,坐井观天Q当以赛亚h林大范围质疑启蒙遗Qƈ居然从康LU烦中清理出民族M信号Ӟ他是在挽救ƈ丰富前辈的学_而他U|捡视古希腊迄今的思想遗Q乃Z对西Ҏ(gu)化版图够的资格与确信?/p>
我们有这L靠的资格与确信吗Q?/p>
十月以来Q鲁q逝世七十周年g成ؓ媒体与社会一l相对自发的话题Q看q去昄不是官方U念的老花栗可喜的是,当今中国莫可名状的文化Ş态,其表层,E微有一丁点接近鲁迅时代的意思了Q知识景观逐渐铺展Q言论空间有限豁裂,开攄国策不容逆{Q旧有意识Ş态在q轻一代相对失效。MQ这都是好消息——不是对鲁迅的好消息Q而是对于我们?/p>
最q我收到几家媒体关于鲁迅的问题,重复道:我们Z么还要阅读鲁q?我的回答是:一Q不必勉强。当q《呐喊》《彷徨》再版时Q鲁q就不愿意,说不要用他阴暗的念头影响孩子;二,七十q来的历史剧情是我们解读鲁迅的珍贵资源,因ؓ他的光焰需要我们世代作有效的映衬。换句话_W三Q鲁q早自q毁了Q他的h(hun)值可能照亮的Q应该是我们——我们愿意被照亮吗?
回到q篇讲稿的题目:“鲁q是谁?”我愿去掉“鲁q”两个字Q改成“我们”?/p>
写于2006q?0?2日 ?2006q?0?4日在上v图书馆讲?br />